Dear Diary,

Today is a rough day. While I am incredibly successful and smart (I mean, I passed Chemistry with a solid B+), times are tough. Today, I am tasked with the unfortunate job of firing one of my very worthy employees. I decided that I could not make this decision without gathering the necessary evidence, so I spent today taking a tour of my smoothly ran laboratory. As I toured the lab, I took notes so I could refer back to them to make my decision. These, my dear trusty friend, are the highlights of my great adventure of flawless scientific expertise.

8/13/2028- Tour of lab:
I entered the lab as I always do, and it was in perfect working condition, as always. Upon entering the first work station, I was greeted by Jeb. Well, I was greeted by Jeb’s slumbering self. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, that I didn’t want to wake him. However, as I turned to move forward I tripped over his backpack and a large box of glassware that was obstructing the walkway. As I cried out in pain, Jeb stirred to life. Karri came around the corner to check on my obviously warranted screams of pain. She was a very sympathetic audience. She informed me that she had also fallen victim to the mess on the floor. Her pain was made evident by the large bloody bandage that adorned her big toe. It looked so very painful, but the red of the blood complimented the deep blue hue of her freshly pedicured toes. I commented on how much I liked her new flip flops. She got them at Walmart. I may stop there today.

Luckily, my agonized yelps did not disturb Carlos who was deeply entranced by the new Vanilla Ice single that had dropped today and was (rightfully so) blaring through the speakers. Carlos’ dance moves often inspire awe, and he did not disappoint today. I’m not quite sure that Heath appreciates Vanilla Ice on the appropriate level though because while Carlos made his moves look rhythmic and good, Heath’s headbanging seemed a bit out of place. He often lacks control of his long blonde locks when he “gets in his groove”. Today they were whipping around at full force and were dangerously close to catching fire. I quickly moved the lit Bunsen burner to the side, which was perfect timing, because the chemicals they were heating had just begun to boil over. They only got on my hands a little, so I easily wiped them on my shorts, and left the boys to their terribly important work.

Around the corner I was greeted by my favorite trio: Drea, Jayden, and Sam. They have been working on making an amazing new polymer that is both sticky and smooth at the same time. Right now, the polymer is either a clear liquid or a gooey yellow/orange substance. We are working on making it right. I not only adore these three because they are hard workers but because they are so generous and kind. Jayden walked me through their brainstorming process while he slowly bounced the polymer from one hand to the other. It was truly mesmerizing. My trance was interrupted when Drea asked me to hold her chips while she took a drink of her water. Sam was preoccupied with stirring her macaroni and cheese, which she was cooking on the hot plate next to the warming polymer. It’s a good thing that Drea was paying attention though because when Sam turned to say “Hello”, the polymer bubbled and almost got into Sam’s beautiful brown eyes. It’s a good thing she had those amazingly safe goggles on her hairline, because she could have gotten the polymer in her hair, and that would have taken forever to get out. Eyes are much easier to clean since we have that awesome eyewash station nearby. Plus, losing your eyesight wouldn’t be too terrible. At least you wouldn’t have to watch Heath dance.

As I went to leave my dear friends, I was almost knocked flat on the floor by Aaliyah. Jason had thrown a terrible spiral and she was leaping to catch it. Out of nowhere, Dante tackled her to the floor, nearly missing me. When she fell, she noticed a silky white powder on the floor under her station. Because we are always safety conscious she immediately had to identify the unknown chemical for proper clean up. She quickly put her nose close to the sample and inhaled deeply to see if it gave off any noxious fumes. It seemed to be odorless. To aid in the identification, Jason came over, licked his finger, and then stuck it in the powder. Once his finger was coated in the unknown chemical, he tasted it to rule out the chance it was powdered sugar. It wasn’t. Fun fact: sometimes eyewash stations can be used as mouthwash stations too- though it is not proper protocol. Jason is so loyal. He always takes one for the team.

At that point, we had a team huddle to talk about who was going to visit Jamal at the hospital first. He had broken his leg earlier that day due to slipping on a chemical that Lexi had spilled and forgotten about. We are hoping he comes out of the coma soon. After the meeting we had a nice thirty second group hug, and each went back to work in our appropriate work stations.

I am so lucky to work with these magnificent scientists. I have no idea who I will be able to cut from the team. We all play such a large role in making this very successful laboratory run like the well-oiled machine it is. This is a decision too hard to make on my own, I may have to illicit some help on this one.